When newcomers arrive in Canada, they often get greeted with two messages. One can be to be grateful and that this is a better life.The other message could be unspoken but just as powerful: Don’t look back and move on.
But what happens when your heart still aches for home? What if you miss your grandmother’s cooking, the way the sunlight hits your old street or the laughter of your childhood friends? What if the sound of your first language makes your eyes water?
Missing where you came from doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful for where you are now. You can be both grieving and grateful. That is part of what it means to start over.
Migration isn’t just a physical journey; it’s also an emotional one. You don’t just pack bags. You carry identities, memories and relationships. Psychologists and settlement workers often describe this emotional weight as migratory grief, and it’s a natural and valid response to leaving behind the world you knew.
According to a report by the Center for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH), newcomers commonly experience feelings of loss, anxiety and cultural disconnection in the early stages of resettlement. This grief can look like sadness, mood swings, loss of appetite or trouble sleeping. It doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re human.
In Western culture, we often think of emotions as opposites: happy or sad, hopeful or heartbroken. But in many immigrant experiences, those feelings exist together.
You can be deeply thankful for your new job and still miss your old one. You can be proud of your children’s progress in school and still feel heartache when they can’t speak to their grandparents and in your language. You can be excited to be here and still mourn the life you left behind.
A recent study by Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Canada (IRCC) found that many immigrants feel pressure to appear optimistic and grateful at all times, even while silently struggling with homesickness or cultural shock. This expectation to be thankful and move on often discourages people from seeking support or talking openly about their pain.
Many newcomers say they feel guilty for grieving, but gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring pain. You don’t need to prove your thankfulness by pretending everything is perfect. Grief is not a weakness; it is a sign that what you had was meaningful. You can love your new life in Canada and still long for the rhythm of your old one. That doesn’t make you less brave; it makes you layered, complex and whole.
Next time you ever feel both sadness and hope, remember: There’s room for both. And in that space, something beautiful grows, a new version of you that honours every part of your journey.